Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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