You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
