the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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