There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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