420 ftw
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
