if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How naked do you want me to be?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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