How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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