Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
