He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
