Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
