I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize
