Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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