Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
