i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
how does that bad decision feel?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize