i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
