ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
