didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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