found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
