is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
