Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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