Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
