dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
