none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
