What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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