what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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