I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They took my balls.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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