Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
