just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
