I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
