Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
