I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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