apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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