Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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