I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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