Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
