I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
