The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
