I like my sex mixed with concussions.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His hands were made for my vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
