I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
