I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
