after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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