he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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