I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
