It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
