He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
