Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
