we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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