your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
