Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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