If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
