need another drink. this is the easiest way
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize