Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
