you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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