OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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