I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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