I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
