Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
