my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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