So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
