Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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