PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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